Fading grey
by PineappleCube
Summary: Can love be rekindled, without any remorse? Ron's dead, Harry's dead. Hermione's alive and she is an auror. That's black and white right? What happens when it's grey? Formally through the looking glass
1. Sweet endings

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Through the looking glass  
  
**Archive:** www.fanfiction.net  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Full stop.  
  
**Pairing:** Harry/Hermione  
  
**Chapter one:** Mirror imaged  
  
A 21-year-old girl crawled down into a dark dingy cave from a small hole hidden by the white chalk cliffs of Dover in southern England. She had a pair of tight black jeans on; with a black studded belt holding them up, her torso was covered by a white tank top that was striped in shades of violet, purple, lilac and indigo. It was nearly midnight and the waning moon shone down through a smattering of clouds. It made the sea an eerie greyish blue, and the pristine white cliffs seemingly glowed. The girl, an auror, was looking for any of the Death Eaters that had managed to escape she got a tip off that some were hiding near Sussex and on the southern coast. So basically she was looking for most of Voldemort's followers, not many had been caught.  
  
She'd come over to the coast late at night so as not to be noticed by muggles. She had guessed there'd be some coves and caverns because of the coast being chalk it was soft weak rock, and was easily fissured. A good few years ago the muggles had made a big thing of the erosion of the coast. The coast had, had over average rainfall for nine out of twelve months, and part of the coast had collapsed. This was due to the rain penetrating the ground and creating a higher pressure in the already fissured rocks.  
  
She kept crawling further into the cave, until her left hand lost it's footing. It was dark and she couldn't perform Lumos. This was a precaution just in case there were death eaters there. They would get a head start on her then. She didn't want that, especially if she was out numbered. She sat with her legs dangling over the ledge at the end of the narrow passage she'd just crawled through. She looked at where her black flat shoes should be, took a deep breath then: She tipped herself over the edge her hands gripping the edge of the step she had previously been sat on. She extended her legs to see if she could touch any rock. She could. She quietly jumped down she couldn't do it silently. She heard a movement.  
  
_Or was it a movement?  
  
Maybe it wasn't.  
  
She listened carefully_.  
  
She heard nothing, so walked forwards for a while also being careful to tap her foot gently on the rock before she placed it down in case there was another ledge. Every few steps she'd place her hands out in front of her in case there was a ledge. Although she hadn't had as vigorous training as some of the other aurors, she had had a lot more experience with death eaters and challenges than some of the newly accepted. She was the only survivor out of the golden trio. She had been killing Bellatrix Lestrange whilst Ron and Harry took on Voldemort and Pettigrew.  
  
When she burst into the old charms classroom of Hogwarts. She found Ron's Kedavred body, along with Pettigrew weeping over the wasted body of his master whilst rubbing his legs. She was going to Crucio him to get him to tell the story, but at the sound of screams quickly cursed "Arvada Kedavra" and ran out to find the donor of the blood curdling screams she could hear, the blood curdling scream she still heard in some of her dreams, even now. Four years on. They were Ginny Weasley's screams. Most of the Death Eaters managed to escape, that's why she was in that cave at that very moment in time.  
  
"**PETRIFICUS TOTALUS**" Shouted a croaky, male voice. A bright light flashed through the darkened cavern.  
  
"**FINITE INCANTATEM!**" Hermione screamed, blocking the body bind. She saw in the flash of light a man's body. It was muscled he must have been about her age.  
  
"Who is that?" The voice called out croakily,  
  
"Could ask the same to _you_!" She glared at the invisible person, "**CRUCIO!**" She shouted pointing her wand somewhere around where the man's body had been half a minute earlier, he quite obviously wasn't there as she heard no scream and as the light flashed she saw no body.  
  
"That's an unforgivable Hermione..." The voice was smoother this time. She span around, the man was right behind her,  
  
"Who is that?" She asked looking at where she thought the man was,  
  
"Incendio" He pointed towards the centre of the room, and a pile of logs lit up, "Hermione..."  
  
She looked at the man, but still looked blank, "Who are you?" She inquired slowly,  
  
"It's me" He said, she glanced up and down the body not making eye contact, "Harry"  
  
"But you're... you're" She stammered,  
  
"No." She looked at him, Harry had expected her to not believe him so launched into a rapid fire of facts, and "I'm not someone in polyjuice I'm Harry James Potter. My mother was Lily Evans from gryffindor. My father was James Potter from the like. He was part of a group who called themselves the marauders. There was Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and my father in the group. Lupin was a werewolf but my father and his friends turned into animagi, James called himself Prongs, Sirius was Padfoot, Pettigrew was Wormtail and Lupin called himself Moony. The first broom I ever had was a nimbus 2000, but after I fell off it in my third year due to dementors it flew into the whomping willow and got smashed to pieces. So Sirius, or snuffles as we had to call him in secret, sent me a firebolt. Need anymore proof?" He finished taking a deep breath,  
  
"Is it really you?" She quivered,  
  
"Yes" He looked down, "It is" There was a minutes silence in which the fire crackled and the only other sounds were Harry and Hermione took seats Harry on a cushion in the corner of the dingy cave and Hermione on a ledge. She rubbed her arms it was freezing. She looked up finally looking into his deep emerald eyes. She could still remember his vivid eyes staring at her before the last battle. The silence ploughed on.  
  
"It's like you're back from the dead..." She said quietly,  
  
"I had to go Hermione" Harry said turning away from her sad gaze, "I had to"  
  
"I walked into that charms classroom not knowing what had happened, I saw Voldemort dead, Ron dead and Wormtail was weeping. I was about to crucio him to get information but when I heard Ginny's screams I just Kedavred Pettigrew and assumed you were dead. Then I ran to help Ginny" A tear rolled down her cheek, "It was awful, Dumbledore said he'd probably vanished your body. There was joint funeral. Draco killed his own father, Crabbe and Goyle senior and junior are in hiding, that's why I'm here tonight, to find them and others but instead I found you!" She smiled weakly, "You don't know how much this will mean to everyone. It'll give them hope, something to work for, something to be happier about. Us aurors have got our work cut out the public aurors are apparating every twenty minutes to where people say they've spotted deatheaters. It's awful. I work independently there's only a few of us independents, we traipse around the country looking everywhere for them." She smiled and gave Harry a long embrace, "This is amazing. It's like you're alive again" Harry pulled away frowning,  
  
"I can't go back Mia. You know that don't you?" She frowned at what he was saying, but it felt so good to hear someone saying her old nickname to her again. It had been a lonely four years, only Ginny and Draco seemed to be her friends and for two of those years she had been a gooseberry between their relationship. It wasn't as though it mattered they had got together just before the war really started and they had surprisingly managed to just pull through it, just being the operative word. After a year their relationship seemed to buckle under the immense pressure they were both having as aurors. Her, Draco, Ginny and Seamus Finnigan were aurors out of that year. Many of the others in their old year from Hogwarts were dead, grievously harmed, insane or had just chosen to get jobs away from the death, destruction, hurt, pain and the war that had raged on the wizard and muggle world through the former student's sixth and seventh years. It had been tough on them all. Some people's parents and family were dead, not to mention their friends.  
  
Only one of the Weasleys remained out of many. Ginny. Ron, Molly and Arthur were dead, Hermione had confirmed the bodies; she had thought Ginny wasn't up to it. Charlie had been tortured into insanity and jumped out of the window of St Mungo's after slitting his bony wrists. Percy (who had managed to apologize to his parents even through his doggedness), Bill, Fred and George had vanished. Many assumed them dead after all; Voldemort and his supporters didn't usually leave survivors. Ginny and Hermione had left their accounts at Gringotts untouched though, any persons bodies that had not been found and confirmed were thought still alive. Many silently called it clutching at straws. There were many houses with no one living in which hadn't been touched since they had been well used and cherished. Houses, formerly known as homes, gathering dust. Home sweet home Hermione always said bitterly.  
  
"Why not? Why can't you come back?" She said tears forming in the corner of her eyes, she couldn't keep a secret this big from Dumbledore whom she had grown very close to, or Draco and Ginny. How could he have? The five of them including Ron, had plotted and planned as best as they could and he decides to shut out all his memories and live a solitary life in some cave when he could be out helping and making a difference like her, like Draco, like Ginny, like Dumbledore, like Lupin, like Snape, like Seamus. What made him different?  
  
"This is where I live now, I'm **needed** here" This made Hermione look at the floor,  
  
"Yeah well maybe we needed you at home" Hermione said in a small, sad, desperate pitiful voice Harry put his hand round her shoulders but she shrugged him off,  
  
"I can't go back," He said wincing as Hermione muffled a sob,  
  
"You can! You're needed at home Harry, we need you." She looked at him, tears now rolling down her face, "I need you."  
  
"There's stuff back there which is all my fault and I can't go back there pretending I'm the hero, when everything is all my fault. All those deaths were to keep me alive. Ron's death was to keep me alive. And all those others I've heard about when I have summoned Daily Prophets to me" He pointed to a stack of yellowing moist newspapers.  
  
"Nothing is your fault" She shook his shoulders, "This is **Voldemort's** fault! Voldemort and his **stupid** followers so don't you go blaming yourself Harry. Don't you think on it Harry, don't you think on it" He looked up at her,  
  
"Ron died for me." He said quietly,  
  
"Ron died to save everyone. He didn't die just to save you; if you were dead so was everyone. It was a death sentence to him, his family, his friends, wizards and muggles alike; they all would die if you died. Ron was amazing, that day he put everyone else in front of him. He wanted you to be alive." She sighed, "He wanted his family to be alive" She said her voice full of bitterness, "Do you think he'd want you sulking around in some cavern? He'd want you to be out there sorting this pile of shit into files!" She finished her lecture by giving him a firm, watery-eyed look, and "Now are you going to do what Ron wanted you to do?" The tears were still running down her cheeks, slightly more slowly though,  
  
"Hermione, it isn't as simple as you make it sound" He sighed, "Can we just catch up and then we can talk on it later. Please?" Hermione nodded slowly,  
  
"How can you live here?" She said quickly, as if she'd been holding it in for along time,  
  
"At first I didn't know myself. It was like a being in a cage, I could relate to how Sirius felt in Azkaban" He gestured around, "Soon you learn to live with it. I kept my clothes clean by the febricula charm. I summoned bits of food to eat, what muggles must have thought when chips and stuff were flying around." He shook his head and grinned lopsidedly, "Crazy"  
  
"It's been hell in the wizard world, I haven't had a holiday in the last four sodding years! Me, Ginny, Draco and Seamus are all aurors. Draco and Ginny carried on going out for two years that whirled by. Their relationship soon buckled under the pressure of their jobs. Ginny's the only one left out of all of the Weasley's. Ron, Molly and Arthur are dead. You know about Percy and Bill vanishing? Well Fred and George went soon after. Charlie was tortured into insanity like poor Neville. At least Neville made a full recovery." She smiled, "It's been hectic. I've missed you. I've missed you and Ron," Harry smiled and leaned over and planted a small kiss on her lips, there was a small silence, "I've missed you so much."  
  
"I know" He murmured, "I... just... needed time, I ran away from my past to find a new life. Instead I found nothing. Just this cavern to live in, and another cavern full of memories in my head" He looked around at the cavern flickering in the light of the fire, "I can't believe you look for death eaters on your own! What if there was a colony in here?"  
  
"I worked with Seamus as a partner, it went well. It was more fun but we didn't get as much done. Kingsley said we could have the choice but Worley said we should get on with it on our own, being an auror isn't meant to be fun. Don't I know it, sometimes I can walk through cave after travelling over mountain before wandering by streamside which is after cutting through forest and so on for days on end not needing to talk to anyone, not being able to even if I had to or wanted to. If I pass through a colony I disapparate. We've not caught many in the last four years; I've caught two death eaters Rookwood and Nott. Draco killed Lucius obviously and caught Lestrange last year. Seamus caught Avery and Macnair but Macnair escaped. Ginny caught Karkaroff, of course you know he went to the dark side. It took her two years but she tracked him down and caught him." She sighed, "There's still many more wanted for passing messages, switching sides, dark activities and some or Voldemort's inner circle are still out there" She shook her head,  
  
"Don't you see Harry, this is why we need you so much." She looked at him,  
  
"I'm not going back, you've just told me how much hurt has been caused because of me"  
  
"Will you not **LISTEN** to **ME!?!?**" She cried,  
  
"I am listening" Hermione burst into tears of frustration,  
  
"Damn you Harry, damn you! Play with my feelings, kiss me, love me, hate me, why don't you?" She cried with fake mirth and stood up. She crawled out of the cave as fast as she could and walked right up to the waters edge. She threw herself down on the sand and thumped it with her fists. The sand grated against her skin but she didn't care. Someone else did though; they enclosed her fists with theirs.

* * *

"I'll come back Mia" He sat by her, "I'll come back" Hermione looked at his emerald green eyes reflecting the small crescent that was the waning moon.  
  
"You will?" She said crying again,  
  
"Stop crying Hermione, you're like a tap!" He got his thumb and wiped away her tears,  
  
"I'm sorry, this is just the only good thing that had happened in these last few years" More tears spilled down, but Harry just chuckled,  
  
"You know what you told me before we parted before the last battle?" She murmured,  
  
"Mmm" He looked at her,  
  
"Did you mean it Harry?"  
  
"Yeah, Mia. That's why I'm out here. I loved you then and suppose I love you now, I know a lot has happened but I think we might just be able to get through it" Hermione looked at him smiling.  
  
"Should we apparate back to the ministry?" Harry nodded and kissed her on the lips tenderly, "Apparate back to my office though, I don't want anyone seeing you yet" There was two loud pops and they had vanished and reappeared in an office. It had a mahogany door, with glass panes either side. The blinds were half shut.  
  
Harry walked over to Hermione and kissed her passionately, she hadn't expected this and backed against a filing cabinet. He licked over her lips and she opened them granting his tongue entry. He put his hands on the small of her back, and played with her tongue. She messed his black hair up ruffling her hands through the jet-black locks. She pulled away for air but was attacked by his lips once more. His hand slipped up her black tee that said super witch on the front and caressed her breast. All the sadness Hermione had held away, leaked out during the kiss, unfortunately they didn't hear the door open or close. Draco, Ginny and Remus had walked in,  
  
"Mia_owww_" Said Ginny indicating to the coupled in the corner, the pair pulled apart. Hermione's ringlets were rather messy and her lips red and swollen,  
  
"Don't introduce us to your new guy then Herm." Draco said witheringly faking looking offended,  
  
"I believe we've already met Drake" Harry looked up,  
  
"**WHAT THE?**" Draco shouted, he grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her away from him he whipped his wand out and so did Lupin, "Remus! One, two, three" They did a revealing spell but nothing happened,  
  
"Chill, it's really me. Hermione checked thoroughly," Ginny giggled, and Hermione grinned,  
  
"As usual, I don't think she'd muck about but still..." Ginny drifted off looking at Harry doubtingly,  
  
"Harry? How? What?" Remus said,  
  
"I survived the last battle, hence there was no body found, I just had things to sort out" He grinned lopsidedly, "Trust me I'm not someone in polyjuice or anything, how would someone get my hair or toenails? Anyway if you don't trust me, trust Mia. She wouldn't go kissing any random guy who looked like me? Would she?" He said with an eyebrow raised so high it was about to merge in with his ruffled raven black hair.  
  
"No, I don't suppose she would Harry" Draco clapped him on the back, "Pleasant surprise this is, it's made my hour" He added sarcastically,  
  
"You always were an annoying little ferret!" Harry said grinning,  
  
"Don't mention it Harry! He still gets nightmares." Ginny giggled again at Draco's indignant "I do certainly not!" Remus just looked at Harry, after a few seconds of gazing at Harry fondly he pulled him into a manly hug. Hermione perched on her desk, smiling as her and Ginny exchanged delighted looks,  
  
"Can't tell you how happy I am to see you Harry," Remus pulled away from him then carried on, "Will you be helping catching the wanted persons?" Harry nodded, he ruffled his hair sheepishly, "It still surprises me how much you look like James" Remus shook his head,  
  
"Anyway, we're going to have to inform Kingsley" Draco said,  
  
"And Worley" Ginny said darkly,  
  
"Ginny! Worley may be strict but he knows what he's doing" Remus disapproved of Ginny's attitude to her seniors,  
  
"Sorry! He's just a pompous git, not to mention a bossy bastard who thinks he is superior" She scowled,  
  
"Ginny. He is superior." Draco shook his head, and Ginny glared at him, "Don't you glare at me girlfrieeeeeend!" The group laughed, they carried on laughing until Worley and Kingsley slammed opened the door to the office,  
  
"What's going on here?" Worley boomed,  
  
"Nothing sir" The aurors chorused, Harry looked at Worley. William Worley had middle length brown hair, it flicked out just beyond the nape of his neck, Harry had been expecting an old man, but Worley looked young and still in his prime. He was wearing black combat trousers with a long sleeved black top. He also had a small black beanie on, he looked exactly the opposite of what Harry had thought in fact. He had been expecting a Mr. Crouch look alike.  
  
"What's with all the commotion then?" He questioned them,  
  
"Hmm, who is this then Hermione?" Kingsley's soothing voice asked as he motioned for Draco to move out of the way. Kingsley did a double take after glancing at Harry,  
  
"He's alive," Hermione muttered,  
  
"What did you say Granger?" Worley asked brutishly,  
  
"I said he's alive" Her voice was stronger it had a line of anger attached to it subtly, "Harry Potter is alive" Worley glared at her,  
  
"Don't play games Hermione, it isn't funny" He touched her face with a cold, clammy hand, she shuddered then glared,  
  
"That was a one off sir, it won't happen again." Hermione said under her breath, trying not to move her lips too much,  
  
"What did you say Hermione?" Draco asked, her and Worley blushed furiously,  
  
"Kingsley sort this lot out, me and Granger have something to discuss" Hermione bit her lip and braced herself, "Come" He said and Hermione followed him, praying to God that Harry wouldn't follow,  
  
Worley held open the door and Hermione walked in nodding as he shut the door, he was about to ask her to sit down but she'd already made herself comfortable on the cream plush sofa,  
  
"Thanks for you chivalry Will" She said coldly, digging her fingernails into her hand to stop herself from swearing and running out.  
  
"Your welcome" He said with a twist of his lips upwards. "What the hell was that about? I told you not to mention our relationship!"  
  
"Do you need me to explain? You see I guessed you'd know" Worley looked up,  
  
"Hermione" He said looking into her amber eyes, she shut them quickly not wanting to make eye contact, "Open your eyes" He said sharply, she did but cursed herself afterwards for doing what he wanted,  
  
"It was one night Worley, a mistake got that? It's not going to be anything more, not today, not tomorrow, not next week, never alright?" Worley shook his head,  
  
"That wasn't what you were saying before!" Hermione sighed,  
  
"What are you going to do Worley? Remember every word I say and use them against me? Use it to make me feel worse than I already do?" A tear rolled down her cheek, she couldn't face it. She was tired out, and the first bit of happiness she'd had in a long time was slowly ebbing away from her. Worley sat beside her and wiped the tear off her cheek with his thumb, "Stop it!"  
  
"Hermione get over yourself for once please! Just because you used to know Harry Potter and Ron Weasley you think you're above me or something, I'm the one who's you boss, I'm the one who's paying your wages, I'm the one who is trying to be with you!"  
  
"Why though? You know it wouldn't work out, you knew it wouldn't from the beginning; you're just trying to make it worse than it already is. Don't deny it Will! It was a bit of fun for you, you're just chasing your high." She shook her head and swept the ringlets from her face, "Now if we're finished here, there's..." he cut her off mid sentence,  
  
"We're not finished. Why are you being so cold? So frigid? Is this just your way of making me want you or something?" He shook his head, "It isn't working. Now lets go back to whatever room Kingsley, Malfoy, Weasley, Lupin and that other person were in because I'm sick of this shit with you and me" He held her a tissue, "Clean yourself up or they will be more suspicious than they are now" Hermione grabbed a compact mirror from her pocket wiped her eyes. She grabbed a small blue object that was about the size of a microchip and then flicked her wand out,  
  
"Engorgio" The blue chip grew until it was back to its normal size. It was a make up bag. She grabbed some mascara and applied it quickly; she then used some kohl eyeliner. She magically did her foundation, she didn't usually like to use make up but she couldn't really clear up tired eyes and a blotchy face with a tissue could she? She then put some clear lip gloss on, then put all the bag's assets away and muttered, "Ingorgio" The shrinking charm, she put the chip back in the back pocket of her black jeans.  
  
"Oh yeah, Granger why haven't you got all black on? I was sure you were meant to be out on the southern coast following up some leads" He narrowed his eyes,  
  
"Yeah, I checked it out, you'll find out what happened in a minute. I didn't have any black tops that were clean so I put this one on."  
  
"Well, put this on" He opened a draw in his desk and threw her a black top, "You left it here after that night"  
  
"I know" Worley looked at her,  
  
"Why didn't you come get it then?"  
  
"Didn't have the time" She magically swapped the tops she was wearing so the black top was on her and the purple one was folded in her hand. "Are you sure this is suitable?" She said fingering the tight black material, and looking over her back, which was covered by black cord that came from the front of the top and criss crossed keep it on. Worley looked at her creamy skin through the zigzagging cords,  
  
"It'll do, now I need to know who that bloke is in your room so come on. Apparate it's quicker" There was a crack like a whip and Hermione vanished, then after a second crack the room was empty.  
  
There were two loud cracks in succession and the aurors looked up,  
  
"Okay, Hermione explain" Worley said shortly but trying not to make it sound cold,  
  
"This" Hermione said as she walked over to Harry, "Is Harry Potter"  
  
Worley scoffed,  
  
"That's about as believable as Kingsley here turning Ginny, Draco and Remus into hippos with a hernias" Worley laughed at his own joke even if no one else did,  
  
"It's true Will" Kingsley said his deep soothing voice carrying itself effortlessly into the ears of everyone in the room.  
  
"Surely you don't believe this rubbish Shacklebolt?" Worley asked,  
  
"I've done all the spells, it's true. Unless you would like a go?"  
  
"Fine move aside!"  
  
Worley went through a number of spells but none seemed to work.  
  
"I... Don't honestly want to believe this" Worley stuttered,  
  
"Well you're going to have to aren't you? Or am I just going to have to force you?" Harry said,  
  
"How are you going to stop me? I am the superior in this department"  
  
"And I'm Harry Potter, go shit yourself bitch"  
  
###  
  
One shot or a story? Tell me what you think, it took me ages to formulate the plot and I spent ages writing it out and researching the cliffs of Dover... Hehe. Review or e-mail me at psychohohotmail.com.  
  
.Pixie/Pin.


	2. Bitter beginnings

**Story:** Through the looking glass  
  
**Archive:** www.fanfiction.net  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. full stop.  
  
**Pairing:** Harry/Hermione  
  
**Chapter two:** Bitter Beginnings  
  
**Comments:** Hey everyone. I just want to say, thanks for your reviews. There are different points of view in here. It starts off with Hermione. I'll make it clear like "I looked at Harry" et cetera.  
  
**Lanna1186:** I'm carrying on, but updates and stuff will be slow because I have my other story too.  
  
**The True Englishman:** Thanks; I did try really hard with this fic. But four reviews for one chapter isn't that bad is it?  
  
**Bob-the-bear:** Thank you, you always review me ! Well it's not a one shot as you can see. Love ya'!  
  
**Laura:** I didn't really like Harry/Hermione stories but I do now. Not quite sure why. This fic. Came to me as a Draco/Hermione or Harry/Hermione but when I thought about it the Harry/Hermione fitted better. Maybe Harry and Hermione won't last very long though...  
  
**Song:** Jem- Maybe I'm amazed. Lyrics are in_ italics._

* * *

  
  
I looked at Harry. He had his hands on the edge of the astronomy tower. A stone arch was above his head. It was freezing up here. You could see right out onto the lake, the lake was eerily still. The creatures in its depths seemed to be still or asleep. There wasn't even a ripple on the surface. The moon shone down on the black lake and the trees beside it seemed to be still.  
  
I walked closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off,  
  
"Why did you come here?" He asked. His voice was cracked, he wasn't angry; he was just wrapped up in his own thoughts.  
  
"I- Well. I don't know. I just want to say, I understand you have to do this."  
  
_Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl  
Who's In The Middle Of Something  
That She Doesn't Really Understand  
_  
"Thanks" Harry said in an almost inaudible whisper,  
  
"And, I wish you didn't have to" I was in tears, I tried to blink them away but they just rolled down my face. Rolling and rolling, silent tears that had been threatening to fall for far too long. I've put on a brave face, held my feelings in, and bottled it up. But bottles break. And mine has smashed into a thousand pieces.  
  
"Me too" He sighed, and carried on staring into space. I just stood there tears falling down me face. I followed his eyes to the reflection of the moon on the lake and the rays around it. "This is all Voldemort's fault. All families are ripped apart. People killed leaving their families behind. People are tortured so they can't remember their own family. The whole world is ripped apart because of one stupid thing. Blood. Everyone has blood. Who cares? I mean who cares if it is pure or not. Pure can be so many different things. Pure is innocent. Pure is something concentrated. Those bitches can't call themselves innocent. Sure they're pure in one way, pure evil." He scoffed,  
  
"I-" I paused.  
  
_Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man  
Who Could Ever Help Me  
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand_  
  
"It's okay...." He paused, "It's difficult."  
  
"I wish you didn't have to" I whispered, repeating myself.  
  
"I know." He sighed and took up my hand in both of his, "Wishes never seem to come true though, do they?" He shook his head, and wiped away one of my tears with his thumb.  
  
"Is there not another way?" I asked tearfully,  
  
"I'm the only one who can vanquish Lord Voldemort. Only me."  
  
"Why?" I sank to the floor. My hand slipped out of his, and that's when it hit me harder than ever. The chance of Harry surviving was so tiny. So unbelievably tiny. Yet, I had to believe it. Otherwise if he didn't survive it would hit me harder than a ton of bricks.  
  
"Get up Hermione" Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I swayed; all the strength had left my body, "You need to be strong. For Hogwarts, for the ministry, for yourself. For me?"  
  
"I can't" I shook my head, "I really can't Harry"  
  
"Yes, you can." He grabbed my shoulders, "I need you to be strong for me. I need you to. You more than anyone. More than Ron, Ginny, Neville, Draco, Dumbledore, Snape, Luna... You more than everyone." He looked at me and gave my shoulders a squeeze; I wiped another tear away from my face.  
  
_Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Pulled Me Out Of Time  
And Hung Me On A Line  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You_  
  
"I'll try." I gulped, my face was burning from the tears rolling down it, "I'll try. But that's the best I can do"  
  
"Stop crying Hermione, you're like a tap!" He chuckled half-heartedly,  
  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time  
  
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You  
  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song  
  
Right Me When I'm Wrong  
  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You  
  
"I can't help it. I came here tonight." I sighed, "I just wanted you to know I understand you have to do this."  
  
"Thanks" Harry whispered,  
  
"And I wished you didn't have to" I said, I was repeating myself but he had to know. No matter how much it hurt he had to know, he deserved to know. I could hear the pain, the choking, the tears in my voice.  
  
"Me too" Harry croaked,  
  
I looked out of the window. It was still the same. This didn't affect it. Everything was still. Everything was beautiful. It looked the same as it did when I came in my first year. It didn't age at all. Only the pupils within the school changed. From girls to women. From boys to men. From children to adults. From friendless to popular. From foolish to wise. These walls, these grounds, these professors watched us grow. They watched us blossom. They watched our beginnings. They helped us through our years here, they saw us changing. They helped. Yet, we all helped each other. And, these walls, these grounds, these professors, these wiser, popular, changed young adults didn't appear to help me at all. Not one of them. Nothing did. The one place I sought guidance from didn't help at all. I'm wasn't sure whether I could help myself.  
  
"I love you" Harry said. Then I realized... I loved him too.  
  
_Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You  
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Love Me All The Time  
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You_  
  
I loved him too. I loved him.  
  
"Hey" Ginny said. "They sent me to look for you... You're needed in the charms classroom Hermione, a go over of the plan with the other girls" She turned, and Draco popped his head around the door,  
  
"Harry, Dumbledore wants to see us"  
  
Harry took my hands inside his own,  
  
"I love you" I just froze as he turned and walked off,  
  
"I loved you too" I choked, yet no one heard. I was on my own. I made my way to the charms classroom.  
  
_Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl  
Who's In The Middle Of Something  
That She Doesn't Really Understand_


	3. Twisted

**Story:** **Through the looking glass  
**  
**Archive:**   
  
**Disclaimer:** I only own the plot, and Worley.  
  
**Pairing:** Harry/Hermione  
  
**Chapter three: Twisted**

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**Bob-the-bear:** Okay, it wasn't a quick update but I'm concentrating on Regrets. Still, I love this story and I really like the plot. It's my baby. Thanks for the review.  
  
**Marina Star:** Awwwww thanks for the review. I think Emma and Dan make a really good couple. They should so get together! Well, yeah if I can't get together with him first.  
  
**Explanation:** Okay, last chapter was before the battle. This is after the battle. The story started with the middle, then the beginning now we're back to the middle, but early middle. The bits in Hermione's POV, are thought, said before she knew Harry was alive. There are loads of quotes in here, from Harry Potter, films, books and Lord of the Rings.

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Dumbledore paused on stage, "Welcome all of you, a lot has to be said, and I am not taking this burden on my own. A speech from Draco will precede Hermione's, then I shall be talking after her. Each member of this pair have earned the reason to stand on this stage, both have made sacrifices and have performed humble acts. But with humble acts and sacrifices come losses, some which hurt more than others. Though all are just as important and sickening as the next. Now is not my time to talk, it is Draco's time. So I shall step down and let him take the stage" With that Dumbledore bowed and Draco stepped on stage, to a supporting yet quiet applause.  
  
"Hello everyone." Draco paused nervously, "This fight has been a struggle for every member of the wizarding world whether they played an active or passive part in the battles. It has been an emotional and physical challenge for all." He paused and looked around at the many people in the great hall, "People have gone behind enemy lines, fought on the front line. People have loved and lost. People have been grievously harmed. People, ordinary people, like me, Hermione, Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Ginny, to name a but a few have been forced to do the extraordinary." Draco's hands were wrapped around the stand in front of him tightly, "There is time to grieve, yet whilst we grieve we must put back together the wizarding world. Collect supporters of Voldemort. Even though Voldemort has gone, we still have a lot more fighting to do" Draco coughed, "To take a quote off Professor Dumbledore, 'differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.'" Draco clutched the stand even tighter, "We need to fight together to round up all of those who betrayed us. Our aim is to return the wizarding world back to how it should be. Back to how so many people who died wished it would be. If not for yourselves do it for the innocent people who lost their lives for defending what was right. It is not purity of blood, nor who has the cleverest mind that determines who we are. It is our choices." Draco took his hands away from the stand, "Thank you all so very much" Draco stepped off the stage to a louder applause than when he got on,  
  
Hermione's POV  
  
It's my turn next and my speech is going to be nothing like Draco's. There's so many people here, so much to fuck up! I clutched my glass of water in my hand and took it up onto stage with me,  
  
"Hey....Everyone" I sighed, "Well," I paused again, "This is hard." Another pause, "In a world that depends so much on love" I stopped on the word love, if only Harry was here, "There is a lot of hate" A tear trickled it's lonely way down my cheek, "It takes a lot of love to keep the world at peace. But it takes a little bit of hate to rip the world apart" I closed my eyes,  
  
"So many people have died because of one man's hatred for his father. Harry was singled out before he was even born!" Hermione paused, "Is this destiny? Is this meant to be? Did the stars tell us so many years ago?" I laughed bitterly, "Probably." I wiped a tear from my cheek,  
  
"I've been brought up here instead of Harry and Ron" Another tear fell down my cheek at this, "It was meant to be some of the four greatest male wizards up on this stage instead we have two, and me" I paused,  
  
"Harry was a great boy, who grew up to be a great young adult. I would bet a million galleons he'd grow up to be a great and wise man" I paused, wiping the tears away furiously, "No one knows quite how Harry and Ron died." One of my sobs racked the halls echoing around and around, Dumbledore gave me a look but I waved my hand, "I have to say this!"  
  
Dumbledore nodded curtly, "Professor, you are probably one of the greatest wizards of all time, and you said understanding is the first step to acceptance" I paused, "As I said, no one knows quite how Harry and Ron died. No one quite knows what happened to Harry's body after he was presumably killed by Voldemort" I paused, "Voldemort was a great wizard" The hall looked slightly taken aback, "Great, yet evil" I smiled slightly, "I'm one of the many who has said this, and one of the many who has thought it" I stopped, "Two nights ago, I went to the astronomy tower. To see Harry. To tell him I understood he had to do this. Yet, when I said I wished he didn't have to. He said me too. Something that I have never heard Harry say before" I let myself take a deep breath,  
  
"Although Harry didn't ask for the attention. Although Harry didn't ask to be born unto a prophecy. He was, and he never complained. Ron was fighting a losing battle to show people that he was just as big and as impressive as his family and friends. Yet Ron had amazing qualities, loyalty, friendship, sarcasm and irony as dry and witty as Draco's, trust and most of all love"  
  
I let the tears flow down my cheeks, "I loved those guys with all my heart. They were so brave for fighting Pettigrew and Voldemort. I loved them so much. Ron, god forbid we had our ups and down but I loved him as a friend so much. Harry, I loved him. He loved me too. I never got the chance to tell him. I loved him - I love him. Every person who died, did not die lonely they died noble, brave and a person who was loved by someone or some people."  
  
I put my face in my hands,  
  
"I said I wouldn't cry. Things don't always go to plan. Just as they didn't with Harry or Ron. In fact, nothing went to plan for either side, light or dark, good or bad, innocent or evil. They both suffered losses. There is not one person in this room who has had personal losses, so I ask you now to raise your glasses." Everyone raised there glasses, "From the beginning Cedric an innocent boy who crossed the wrong path, to the end, Harry who in all of his life was waiting for a battle he couldn't get out of"  
  
I wiped away some tears and raised my glass,  
  
"This is to all the people who have suffered under the hands of Voldemort, you will not be forgotten, and you will be remembered with much love" I took a sip of the water in my glass, as did everyone else in the hall. It was at that point I started crying uncontrollably. Draco came up on stage and gave me a hug. I'd needed that hug for too long. He helped me off stage, people were clapping and Dumbledore was making his way on stage but I didn't listen to the claps, or the speeches I just cried.  
  
They were my friends; they were innocent. Everyone was innocent yet in the Dark sides eyes we were all guilty. In our eyes we were all innocent, and the Dark side was all guilty. It was probably just a matter of bitter, sick, painful, twisted opinions.  
  
Twisted.

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Hope you liked it, leave a review,  
  
Love, P.C 


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